Ned!!

That handsome boy is Ned, a 10-month-old pittie boy, and our newest foster! He's been fostered by our friends Amanda and Matt for a few months, but they are moving (boo), so Ned must stay behind since he's a Columbia 2nd Chance foster dog.

He's had a rough little life so far. He and two littermates were shot at as young puppies. Ned was the only one who was lucky enough to avoid a bullet and survive. Then, he came down with parvo, mange, and kennel cough. Fortunately he beat parvo (yay!), got over the kennel cough, and is working on clearing up the mange.

He's an absolute love of a dog. He gives lots of kisses, is pretty darn smart, and loves playing with everything else in the house. He's pretty much perfect, and I think that someone should adopt him!

Goodbye, snaggle tooth

Miles had a much needed dental cleaning on Monday, and he unfortunately lost a few teeth in the process, including our beloved snaggle tooth. I prolonged the procedure for far, far too long because I was irrationally concerned with my senior kitty going under anesthesia, but my vet finally told me (nicely) to suck it up and get it over with.

So, of course, I feel like he lost some teeth due to my negligence in delaying the procedure. Our vet said that it had nothing to do with that, and that he just wasn't born with the best teeth, but I can't help but feel that if he had a dental cleaning earlier, his snaggle tooth could have been saved.

He's recovering well, but is absolutely pitiful. You can tell he's not fully himself, and that his mouth feels off to him. Hopefully he adjusts soon. :(

Garage Sales, I love you.

Check out these sweet finds from Saturday's garage sale adventures.

Super funky disco suitcase

Super awesome roller skates (that fit!) that were inside the suitcase

Halley's nut-shaped nut bowl, complete with nut-eating squirrel

That's what I call a successful garage sale day!

The greatest literary work of all time

Are you ready to have your life changed forever? I'd like to present to you a book that I wrote when I was 9. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll laugh so hard you'll cry.

Illustrations, commentary (in italics), and original spelling errors have been included.

Dogs.
Written and illustrated by Jessica

Copyright 1991. Jessica's Books.

Dedicated to Saudi, one of the best dogs ever. (My childhood BFF - Saudi the black lab).

When I was four, we got our dog Bud (Boston Terrier, if you couldn't tell by the wicked awesome drawing). He became our family pet. He was very playful and friendly.

One day I was in kindergarden and I was waiting for my bus and all of a sudden my dog Bud ran out of my backyard into the street. Then a big truck came and ran over Bud's leg. (Awful story of course, but a) Global Moving Co.? Where did that come from? and b) did I have to be so graphic with my drawing?)

My mom was so upset over Bud she ordered me to go inside and call my dad. (Screw you Mom. I'm 5. You call him.) That day while I was in school Bud died. That night I cried and cried. (As can be seen by my "Boo Hoo" talking bubble and my dream bubble of a tombstone reading BUD RIP.)

But a few months later my dad came home from work. He was wearing a suit and coat. He took something out of his coat.

It was a baby puppy!!! It was one of Bud's sisters. It was from a litter Bud's mom had had recently.

(Way to support the crappy backyard breeder twice Dad. And by the way, despite the porn star 'stach, my dad actually has a real job. As can be seen by the briefcase he's carrying that actually says briefcase on it.)

"She is so cute," I said. She was so small she had to eat out of very little ashtrays. (How white trash is that?!) I played with Maxi every day.

But one thing we could never do was house-train her. When she was two my dad said "She has to go to school." So she went. We got her back when she was three. (Huh? Where the hell did she go to school for a year? I think 9-year-old me was confuzzled. 9-year-old me also wore ugly clothes.)

But training school didn't do a thing. It was about then we moved to Greenbriar. That is the name of the neighborhood. (Clearly very relevant to the story.)

After we moved Maxi still made messes in the house. Our new house was so big we had to get cleaning girls Sondra and Kerri. (Wow. Pretentious for a 9 year old. WTH Jessica?)

Then on another day my dad said we had to get rid of Maxi. "NO!!!" I said. and ran to my room and locked the door. I didn't come out all night. But we gave her to Kerri, our cleaning girl. (Rehoming wasn't an option for me at age 9 either.)

But one day, my dad said his friend Limon Dame dog just had babies.

(Notice the "So you say your dog had babies?" and "YEA" conversation bubbles.)

Exactly three days later, my dad said we were going somewhere. Guess where we went? To see the puppies! They were so cute. They hadn't even opened their eyes.

Nine weeks and four days later I was getting out of the shower when "AAUUGGHH," that was me. I saw a big black dog in my hallway. (9 weeks and four days - damn...can't break it down into hours and minutes too?)

(Our outfits make us look like we belong in a cult)

Do you like him?" asked my dad? "Who'se is he"? "He might be ours". Guess what. WE did get him! (I should be a professional author).

He went to dog school just like Maxi. But he learned things. We still have him, too. The only difference is that he was trained before he was 3 months old! (I was such a liar. That means in 3 weeks he was trained. Incorrect, Jessica. Incorrect.)

And another difference was Saudi knew how to fetch before he was 3 months. Now since he is a water dog he's so silly he won't get in our pool without his raft. (True story).

All my friends think he's funny except Scott, who thinks he's scary.

(Saudi had a nose like a duck, apparently).

Now he's smart and still lovable.

Bud is dead. Maxi is still at Kerri's but I still have my big, black, baby Saudi.

(Well if that isn't an end to a story, I don't know what is).

Above is a pic of your beautiful author, and below is my boy Saudi, who we lost in March 2003.

Fluffy the Sea Kitten

Oh PETA. You crazy organization. I do at least appreciate the opportunity to make a sea kitten named Fluffy.

PETA Attempts to Make Fish More Adorable

"Sea kittens" is the new term being used by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, for the creatures they believe are in dire need of an image makeover: fish.

"PETA thought that by renaming fish sea kittens, compassionate people who would never dream of hurting a dog or a cat might extend that sympathy to fish, or sea kittens," PETA campaign coordinator Ashley Byrne says.

Byrne says that rebranding fish as sea kittens was obvious.

"Fish not only have the same ability to feel pain as a dog or a cat, but they also communicate with one another," she says. "They have complex social interactions; they form bonds; they express affection by gently rubbing against one another."

The PETA campaign boasts a colorful, interactive Web site aimed at children and their parents. It offers sea kitten bedtime stories and a design-your-own sea kitten in hopes it will build compassion in families.

"Most parents would never dream of spending a weekend torturing kittens for fun with their families, but hooking a sea kitten through the mouth and dragging her through the water is the same as hooking a kitten through the mouth and dragging her behind your car," Byrne says.

Alaskan Resistance

PETA has so far only promoted the campaign in North Carolina but plans to take it nationwide, even to Alaska — a state where fishing is both a source of recreation and many families' livelihoods.

In the small fishing town of Unalaska, population just under 4,000, some people see the campaign differently.

"I don't see fish as sea kittens; I see them as food," says 12-year-old Chastity Haskins.

Haskins is looking at the PETA site with her friend, Harmony Wayner, 11.

"It just doesn't look right," Harmony says. Harmony, the fourth generation of a commercial fishing family, looks at the cartoon fish and reads through the information on the site. "They say that they're intelligent, but they're not really," Harmony says. "They have tiny, tiny little brains. Very miniature."

The girls also take issue with the claims that sea kittens are unhealthy to eat.

"They only talk about farm fish — it's not wild Alaskan, which is very good for you," Harmony says.

Sea-Kitten-Friendly Environments

"I don't understand how it makes sense," says fisheries observer Mary Powers, who works on fishing boats to collect data on the catches. She thinks the campaign, which encourages people to petition the Fish and Wildlife Service to stop the hunting of sea kittens, is misguided. "It seems like it's discouraging Americans to buy our product, which I think is unpatriotic."

But Byrne says that even if people lose jobs in the fishing industry through the success of the campaign, they could find work in more sea-kitten-friendly environments.

"So as there is less of a demand for foods like fish, there is more of a demand for other foods, and jobs open up in those industries," Byrne says.

National Marine Fisheries Service management biologist Brian Dixon doesn't see the change coming anytime soon.

"Well, it may raise some money for PETA, but I don't think it'll change the way we manage the fisheries," Dixon says. "I think I may eat some sea kittens tonight."